The Purina Diet

[rudyc]

Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow for my dogs Shadow and Lady.

I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think, that I had an elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that No, I didn\'t have a dog - that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn\'t because I ended up in the hospital last time.
On the bright side though, I\'d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, She asked : \"Did you end up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned you?\"

I said: No not at all; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.

 

[Swede]

That\'s great Rudy. I needed a laugh.

This is not near as good, but I will add it anyway:
Years ago my wife and I were going into this store, and out front they had a pile of sacked cat food with a big \"SALE\" sign on it. Willie (my wife) said. Look here they have cat food on sale\". There were other people standing around including this lady looking at the cat food, so I said, \"Why do you care? We don\'t even have a cat.\" At that point the lady looked up and stared at Willie. She turned a little and looked at me as if to say \"you poor dear\". That so embarrassed Willie, we never bought any cat food at that time. She did not say anything until we were alone. If that lady had known what I was in for, she could have had some real pity. I don\'t remember who got the last laugh, but don\'t worry our cat got fed.

 

[bnsafe]

now thats good stuff :clap:. My wife hates in when she starts to use her debit card in a long line of folks waiting and i tell her loudly \"i thought the cops told you last time you couldnt use that thing anymore\".

 

[Ol' Arky]

I saw some where on the news that Purina dog food Beneful was said to have some type of poison in it that had made sick and killed several dogs... So maybe the lady was askin\' ya the proper question... :mrgreen: :mrgreen: