For all you computer geek elk hunters

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WW

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Mar 3, 2014
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BUD the Cowboy

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2015 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni? suit, Gucci? shoes, RayBan? sunglasses and YSL? tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, \"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?\"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, \"Sure, why not?\"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell? notebook computer, connects it to his Apple i phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop? and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad? that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL? database through an ODBC connected Excel? spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5? and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet? printer, turns to the cowboy and says, \"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.\"

\"That\'s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,\" says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, \"Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?\"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, \"Okay, why not?\"

\"You\'re a Congressman for the U.S. Government\", says Bud.




\"Wow! That\'s correct,\" says the yuppie, ?but how did you guess that?\"

\"No guessing required.\" answered the cowboy. \"You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don\'t know sh*t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.?

?Now give me back my dog.?






AND THAT FOLKS IS PRETTY MUCH THE PROBLEM .
 
Bill, That is not the problem, and crazy stories that purport to represent others is not the answer. As a former federal employee, I can assure you that unless you become familiar with all of the challenges they face, you do yourself a disservice to try to act like they are all idiots or you are superior. They certainly are not fools, and they try to serve a people as diverse as any in the world. It is no easy task, and I disagree with them often, but there are a lot of very intelligent and dedicated employees working for our governments.
 
\"Swede\" said:
Bill, That is not the problem, and crazy stories that purport to represent others is not the answer. As a former federal employee, I can assure you that unless you become familiar with all of the challenges they face, you do yourself a disservice to try to act like they are all idiots or you are superior. They certainly are not fools, and they try to serve a people as diverse as any in the world. It is no easy task, and I disagree with them often, but there are a lot of very intelligent and dedicated employees working for our governments.
Click to expand...
Swede,

No offense but he said congressman....not the average government employee. I too am a government worker(on the local level) and i feel blessed to do what I do.

As far as his description of a congressman....i would say that is a fair description of about 400 of the 535. Lol!

Sent from my XT1080 using Tapatalk
 
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.

Congress said someone may steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, \"How does the watchman do his job without instruction?\"

So they created a planning position and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, GS-12 and one person to do time studies, GS-11.

Then Congress said, \"How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?\"

So they created a Q. C. position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports.

Then Congress said, \"How are these people going to get paid?\"

So they created the following positions, a time keeper, GS-09, and a payroll officer, GS-11, and hired two people.

Then Congress said, \"Who will be accountable for all of these people?\"

So they created an administrative position and hired three people, an Admin. Officer GM-13, Assistant Admin. Officer GS-12, and a Legal Secretary GS-08.

Then Congress said, \"We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $280,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost.\"

So they laid off the night watchman.
 
I understood what Bill was trying to say and I don\'t want to sound defensive, but some jokes get old and warn. Regardless where they are serving, it seems government employees, including congress, is far underestimated in their ability and intelligence. If you don\'t agree with your congress person, don\'t vote for them. Just my perspective.
 
\"Swede\" said:
I understood what Bill was trying to say and I don\'t want to sound defensive, but some jokes get old and warn. Regardless where they are serving, it seems government employees, including congress, is far underestimated in their ability and intelligence. If you don\'t agree with your congress person, don\'t vote for them. Just my perspective.
Click to expand...
The problem is Swede....I don\'t agree with other people\'s congressmen. I can\'t do anything about that but gripe.

Sent from my XT1080 using Tapatalk
 
Can anyone out there can tell me how our federal government operates efficiently?????

I figure my family and several others could live off what my congressman alone waste a year.... :? :?

By the way I worked for local government most all my life and have several friends and relatives that are or have been federal employee\'s...
 
I don\'t know what this thread has to do with elk hunting, but understand peoples frustration with Congress and government in general. Just watch and listen to what politicians say about each other and other government employees. I don\'t like a lot of what goes on as business as usual, but don\'t misunderstand: these people are not stupid. They represent their constituents, who think your rep. is wrong. Maybe as Trent Lott and Tom Daschel just wrote in their new book, they should spend more time in Washington, on the job, and have to work things out.
I write my congress person and senators. At least I know they hear my point of view.
 
Lighten up Swede!! Don\'t get your shorts all wadded up. It\'s just a joke!!!!
 
Wellthatescalatedquickly.jpg
 
As an owner of this forum, we had better be able to post some light-hearted, joking material.
Life is way too short. Lets not a be a \'FunSucker\'

If anyone is offended by any post, please send me a PM to discuss and I will take your complaint into consideration.

Otherwise:

Carry on with more light-hearted, joking material. :haha: :haha: :haha:
 
Wife: \"See that drunk guy over there?\"

Husband: \"Yes who is he\"

Wife: \"He proposed to me 10 years ago and I turned him down.\"

Husband: \"He must still be celebrating.\"
 
Wife talking to husband, \"You know, my birthday is coming up and i want something that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds\"
Husband says OK and bought her a bathroom scale
 
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