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Jokes
- Thread starter MT_mulies
- Start date
L
lang
Guest
Not really a joke, but still hilarious. I shot a mountain lion while elk hunting one year. My brother and I where both a little loopy after a long day and all the excitement and packing a 150 lb cat uphill. While catching our breath I carefully grabbed the cats back neck and yanked its skin tight exposing its teeth and did my best cat snarl/hiss I could muster. My brother messed his shorts. It was great. He said,"I saw you shoot and clean that thing, but there was that split second I knew I was going to die.
WhitePine69
New member
- Jan 8, 2013
- 15
A blonde went on her first elk hunt. Her guide left her in a meadow and told her to walk up the valley until you find tracks. “Follow the tracks and you will eventually find the elk”. She became the first person on record to have been hit by a train while hunting.
MuleyCrazed
New member
- Dec 28, 2012
- 41
Here is one that someone sent me the other day. Thought it was pretty good.
Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After along period of silence she finally speaks.
"Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, hand-loading golfing, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns, boat & airplane."
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
"There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife."
"Ex wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"
"I wasn't."
Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After along period of silence she finally speaks.
"Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, hand-loading golfing, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns, boat & airplane."
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
"There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife."
"Ex wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"
"I wasn't."
we have a group of guys that go everyother year to Co. and hunt Elk, last year we wnt with an outfitter, well one the the men in our group is really short, so while talking with the outfitter on the phone, we asked if he had any shelton ponies for him to ride. the guy got mad at first but when we showed up at the guides house he had a wooden rocking horse for the guy.we all lost it.
nclonghunter
New member
- Dec 28, 2012
- 681
A man took his wife hunting for her first time. He sat her beside a tree in a good spot and told her if he hears her shoot he will come back. He had been gone for a little while and heard a shot. When he got back to the tree he sees his wife pointing her gun at a man and the man said "lady, let me get the saddle off and you can have it".
bloodrunner
New member
- Dec 28, 2012
- 50
Two deer hunters were standing on a ridge near a highway in the country on the opening day of dear season. They both spotted a large trophy class buck meandering towards them. As the one hunter raised his gun to shoot, a funeral procession came slowly by. The hunter lowered his gun, took off his hat, and stood with his head bowed until the procession was past. Of course by then, the deer was lo...ng gone.
The other hunter exclaimed "Wow! That was the most sportsmanlike act I've ever seen! You allowed this trophy buck to escape while showing such compassion and kindness toward someone's dearly departed. You are a great humanitarian and a shining example to sportsmen throughout the world!"
The first hunter nodded and said; "Well, we were married for 42 years.....".
The other hunter exclaimed "Wow! That was the most sportsmanlike act I've ever seen! You allowed this trophy buck to escape while showing such compassion and kindness toward someone's dearly departed. You are a great humanitarian and a shining example to sportsmen throughout the world!"
The first hunter nodded and said; "Well, we were married for 42 years.....".
nclonghunter
New member
- Dec 28, 2012
- 681
A buddy text me this about seven o'clock this morning...strange but I like it
A man was walking down the street and was approached by a dirty homeless guy asking for money. The man told him he would give him twenty dollars if he would buy beer. The homeless guy said he stopped drinking several years ago. The man then said he would give him the money if he would buy hunting and fishing stuff. The homeless guy said he hadn't hunted or fished in a long time. The man asked the homeless guy if he would come home with him and he would have his wife cook him a fine dinner. The homeless guy said he would but he feels like he would be imposing on his wife. The man said, no don't worry about it, I want my wife to see what happens when a man stops drinking, hunting and fishing.
A man was walking down the street and was approached by a dirty homeless guy asking for money. The man told him he would give him twenty dollars if he would buy beer. The homeless guy said he stopped drinking several years ago. The man then said he would give him the money if he would buy hunting and fishing stuff. The homeless guy said he hadn't hunted or fished in a long time. The man asked the homeless guy if he would come home with him and he would have his wife cook him a fine dinner. The homeless guy said he would but he feels like he would be imposing on his wife. The man said, no don't worry about it, I want my wife to see what happens when a man stops drinking, hunting and fishing.
