You Might Be An Elk Hunter If...

[buglelk]

OK guys and gals, help me out here. We did this last year and had over 80 responses, and I was able to use the really good ones as the opening piece for my seminars throughout the year. In Jeff Foxworthy fashion, finish the following sentence:


You might be an elk hunter if.... ;D

 

[northwesthunter84]

your wife complains that her new shoes only cost half as much as your new mountain hunting boots.

 

[turbo1967]

If you bugle in your sleep. or if you take vacation  the entire month of September. or If you have a hunting clause added into your marriage license.

 

[Jeremiah Johnson]

If you wake up your wife while in your sleep saying, "did you see him, that 6 pt was right there"! And you have no recollection until the mrs tells you the next morning that you interrupted her sleep talking about elk

 

[Dinkshooter]

If watching the little one involves you and this years bull

 

[Montana_BackCountry]

If your 1 year old's three favorite words are "mom" "dad" and "elk."

 

[idelkslayer]

..you buy your christmas presents in August.

 

[SilverDollars]

you keep finding a reason to spend money on elk hunting(supplies, tags, etc) and your wife buys it!!! 

 

[ROOTRIPPER]

You like talking to large antlered animals and then killing them!

 

[ElkManDan]

You try to pick up chicks by bugling!

 

[T43]

... you consider how easy it will be to clean the blood out before buying a vehicle... the most expensive clothing you own is camo... blood on your new pants is a good thing... your 3 year old can cow chirp better without a call than you can with one... you swear off sex from December to February... your kids say "this elk tastes funny" when you feed them beef... your hard drive has more trail cam photos than family photos... you know how many grains your arrow is but can't remember your moms birthday... you have ever said "I ate his liver on the mountain" and were not investigated... you have spent hundreds of dollars on a matress but sleep just fine on the ground... you can give a food critic style review of the entire mountain house meneu... you can tell the bulls apart by their bugles but confuse your brothers when they call on the phone... you have more RMEF knives than you have socks... you plan your vacation a year in advance based on the moon phases... you spend time making this stuff up.

 

[Montana_BackCountry]

T43 just nailed it.  some good one's for sure!


...if not even the holidays can cure "post rut depression."

 

[hank4elk]

...you guide 2 buddies on a late cow hunt,only get into them one morning of 5,no tags filled,but everyone has a blast that they will remember always. 
... the GF is thrilled you filled yours earlier and on the way home with meat.

 

[Jeremiah Johnson]

T43 nailed it with the dec/feb no sex line.....I always cringe when I hear my compadres say their kid is due in sept or they have to go to a wedding on9/21....geez have to get priorities straight

 

[wyoelk300+]

your idea of a vacation involves trying to get blood on your hands...you spend 11 months of the year thinking about one week...you can recite your bow specs with greater speed and accuracy than you can your anniversary/kids' birthdays/your own SS #...your spouse is part of a September widow's club...your kids don't recognize you on October 1st...waking up at 4 in the morning is laughable for 11 months of the year but you don't need an alarm in September...a great day during hunting season can last 20 hours and with two hours of sleep you are ready to start again...you know your hunting area better than you know your neighborhood

 

[MT_mulies]

The sex one is spot on! My wife fully understands no kids will be born from sept 1-nov 30 haha. You might be an elk hunter if you poo in the woods and panic cause your bow is outta reach

 

[turbo1967]

if your trophy room is insured for more than your house, or If your family photo album has more pictures of  dead animals in in than pictures of people.

 

[Stealth1id]

All of the gifts you bought for family and friends were inspired by the need for them in September on an Idaho DIY. Your labrador retriever, retrieves elk sheds in the spring as well as he does ducks and pheasants in the November. Your wife wears a camo nighty and runs a mouth call to tell you its bed time. You can run a GPS without a problem but the smart phone thing has you totally mistified. Your yearly family budget includes a archery elk hunt fund. All your conversations that last for more than 3 minutes include elk as a topic.

 

[jls456]

Your wife gives you a subscription to "Exterme Elk Magazine".and a T-shirt along with it.

 

[idelkslayer]

...If you measure the passage of time in terms of elk seasons, as in "I've lived here for 3 elk seasons."